Five years ago, Chrystelle Vincent decided, with her transgender daughter Lilie, to publicize their situation in the hope of advancing acceptance by the school system. They are back on TF1 this week to speak about a new difficulty: changing gender on civil status documents.
France discovered Lilie’s face in 2020. At the time, the little girl was eight years old, and her story was the first publicly aired account of a transgender child in France. When Lilie realized her identity, those around her accepted her, using her female pronouns and calling her by her chosen name. Everywhere, except at school, where her teacher did not see any problem. Faced with a situation that made Lilie suffer, the family decided to address public opinion via Quotidien, RMC, TF1… After several months of hesitation, the academy governing her school finally agreed to acknowledge the girl’s identity.
Five years later, Lilie has started middle school. But at thirteen, the change of gender on civil status remains refused, preventing the adolescent from obtaining identity papers to travel abroad with her class. That is why the family chose to once again appeal to public opinion, on the occasion of a new interview broadcast this Sunday, January 4, on Sept à huit, on TF1. Lilie’s mother, Chrystelle Vincent, now 47, explains this démarche to us.
How is Lilie, your daughter, five years after the public first met your family when you decided to tell your family’s story?
Well! Through persistent effort, Lilie has entered an European class for her fourth year, and she is pursuing a first-aid specialty in which she is deeply involved. She has been particularly well received in her new middle school, which accepts each student in their uniqueness. At the start of the school year, the administration asked me whether she had any needs as a transgender adolescent – for example regarding the sports changing rooms – and everyone was respectful and attentive to Lilie. She is very athletic, and would like to join the army later to pilot helicopters.
Why did you choose, in 2020, to publicize Lilie’s story?
We were blocked in a situation where the school did not want to use Lilie’s first name and pronouns. Talking about our story allowed us to convey how important, even urgent, it was for her to be called by her feminine name and to be treated as a little girl. It worked because after several months, the establishment finally accepted her identity, which was very beneficial for her.
Wasn’t it hard to face looks that were not always benevolent?
Before making our story public, we prepared within the family. Afterwards, on social media, for a brain-dead transphobic message, we received ten that were very supportive. We even made very good friends! When Lilie received messages from other young people thanking her for her testimony that helped them understand their own transgender identity in turn, she wanted even more to assert who she is. She has a strong character, and knows how to show that she should not be bothered. In the village where we live, if there are hostile people, they did not have the courage to tell us. The only person who spoke to me was to tell me that his child too, older than Lilie, is transgender. By contrast, Adam, Lilie’s twin brother, was harassed at school and even physically assaulted, but today it is much better. We will not stop because some people are intellectually limited. If they do not understand with their heads, perhaps they will understand with their hearts.
Why did you want to speak again in a media outlet today?
Since Lilie came out very early, we never asked for identity papers bearing her old name, because it is something that causes her great anxiety: she finds it very hard that the administration does not accept her in her process. For five years we have been asking the administration to change her first name, but it is refused even though her file is complete and we have provided all the evidence that it is used in daily life. Today, Lilie needs identity papers to travel with her European class, but the courts keep delaying.
How was this request received by the civil registry service at the town hall?
Not so much by value judgments or contempt as by a lack of knowledge about how a child can change their name. In 2021, a ruling from the juvenile court gave a negative decision. We understood that she was then too young to undertake this process. We refused at the time to attach a medical certificate to the file, because Lilie is not sick. Now that she is thirteen, it is the right moment; and to prove her good faith, she agreed to provide this document, validated by a multidisciplinary team at the Robert Debré Hospital in Paris, which has been following her since she was eight: not only is it recommended to grant access to her request, but it states that a refusal would go against her well-being.
What do you hope for today?
I do not seek special treatment, but a quick answer to know whether Lilie can go on a school trip. If the decision is unfavorable to us, I would like a lawyer to feel sufficiently competent to challenge the French justice because it is not normal that rules differ from one department to another: Lilie has the right to change her first name, and that must be granted to her. If we do not win, we will go all the way to the European Court of Human Rights.
As a teenager, Lilie can better understand the world around her… How does she react when she hears transphobic discourses?
When Donald Trump signed anti-trans decrees, I saw for the first time Lilie become aware of her vulnerability and of the possibility that one day the far right would prevent her from joining the army as she dreams. She is very aware that in many countries LGBT+ people are not welcome, which she feels as an injustice. One day she faced a child psychologist with crazy transphobia, who told her that she was a little boy. I explained to her that we could leave, but she did not want to. At the end of the session, when I asked why she stayed, she replied: “It’s to get used to it.” My daughter is a fighter.
